Change in direction
Okay, so this will be a little bit longer than 2 minutes, what I want to say is, I've found another place where I could be documenting my feelings, namely Obsidian, I've discovered a perfect template for my liking.
But I will still continue using this website ever so consistently, but maybe a little less frequent. This is actually the first time I've written a blog outside of my school, so I'd like to think of this as a good omen.
There is a reason why I wanted to write here on this particular day. Something really interesting happened to me, while I was in school.
Today was the day when Zhannur and I presented our project for Nauruz Meetings. I didn't really want to attend (still don't), but this time not because of the laziness, or boredom (I think), but because I genuinely believe that my project is not worth presenting, doing the same thing over and over and over again really pushes you off limits. But that's not what I wanted to talk about...
After we presented successfully (at least it seemed that way), we began a little "small talk" between the group of other project makers, many of whom I know. What really did surprise is when I started talking about my deposit in Kaspi (god, I hope that you have a lot money by then, future me, don't forget about compounding interest), and Zhannur jokingly said to give her my money, I replied that I need that for my scholarship/tuition. She gave me a surprising look, and I explained that I don't believe that I will be able to get a full tuition for my desired university. I told her that ideally I would like to receive a full tuition, but realistically I'm going to get a half-tuition.
After that a lot of people around the room, my friends, started saying how I can do it, saying that I am very smart, asking to say something clever in English, and some even saying that I am the "brains". This much praise was so unprecedented that I really really felt it. Before, I've never actually considered myself to be smart, yet people around me for some reason think that I am. And hearing all that I've achieved including numerous projects, John Hopkins certificate (about that...heh) from others was both satisfying and refreshing. After that little experience I wanted to say "thank you" to them, to express my gratitude, but all I've managed is a little joke of pretending to cry and wiping my tears of joy.
Anyway, thank you very much to everyone who was there. I really appreciate what you've done. I think that I will think of me a little higher and try not to be so judgmental about myself. Anyway good "chatting" I'm off to run on a treadmill.